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Mark Zuckerberg: Coding Morals and Love into Facebook. Who Knew?

September 3, 2012

Facebook, what a social phenomenon. I joined The Facebook on September 3, 2005, so that makes today our 7 year Anniversary. Buy me dinner, Facebook? Xoxo…

This was back when Facebook was exclusive, when only certain universities’ students could join. I was one of those first lucky few.

I had just begun my sophomore year of college: single, reluctant to join the masses, but secretly wanting to be part of the club. My sister literally forced me to join; she created my profile. (Thank you, sis.)

My first wall post came from my best friend from high school, with whom I was, admittedly, a tad out of touch…

“oh my goodness… the one girl who was holding out from Facebook finally cracked. I love you and miss you so very much, I wish i could be under that umbrella with you.”

Well now, doesn’t a message like that make it all seem worth it?

And as I look over my timeline now—Yes, the “timeline got me [insert aghast]”—I see friendships, memories, photos, ex-boyfriends (…) that I started to forget. It’s like a journal I didn’t know I kept.  And I am really glad it’s there.

I also see December 10, 2006, plotted out on my timeline: the date I became “friends” with my husband-to-be. Facebook is seriously the before the

My husband always jokes that he loves Mark Zuckerberg and that he owes everything to him, as, without Facebook, we may have never been…us [insert blown mind].

After randomly (?) bumping into each other twice at two different bars off campus, and severally agonizing moments of crushing on him, a classmate, a stranger, Patrick “friended” me on Facebook.  That was the one sign I needed. I messaged him that same evening.

Subject: oh hello

hey–thanks for adding me! it was fun talking to you last night–sorry I had to leave so fast. maybe we’ll cosmically bump into each other again–besides at our wonderful 301 final. good luck with studying. and have fun in lux if i don’t see you. 


Reply (same night):


yeah steinkellers was a lot of fun. thanks for stopping by our table. i’ll basically be doing nothing for the next two days so if you wanna grab some food let me know, otherwise see you in class wednesday. 

your facebook friend


Less than a month later, we were officially in a relationship, on Facebook. We were “Facebook Official,” and that’s as close to legal as it gets. Three and a half years later we were married.

Thank you, Mark Z. We should’ve invited you to the wedding.

That said, when I think about the past and Facebook, my feelings are positive, appreciative (except for my rage at the time I was accused of “Always drinking” because of the ONE picture that included a Miller Light. Advisory: drinking pictures are never permissible.). Yet, my feelings regarding Facebook are mixed at the moment–Yet another trend has emerged from the social medium: Facebook anxiety.

I’ve seen one too many “Friends” delete their accounts because of the way FB and its ever-populating news feeds makes us feel.

I want to apologize to everyone who tries to communicate with me via Facebook and doesn’t hear from me in days – weeks. I think I have Facebook anxiety and subconsciously avoid using it when I don’t have to.

–Post from Random FB Friend

It’s time for me to say farewell because I find that when I go on Facebook I begin to feel unhappy about myself and what I am doing and in reality there is no reason for me to have these feelings. You know how to find me. Goodbye!

–Post from Random FB Friend

It’s true. So many times, after a long day, sitting down at the computer to wind down with a little Facebook action, I suddenly find myself feeling downright BLUE. Seeing the adventures of so-and-so in Africa (oh wait now she’s in Egypt and rode a camel today named Michael Jackson), pictures of the old next door neighbor girl traveling in INDIA, so-and-so’s hipster, artistic, PERFECT wedding. Cute dog picture. Cute dog picture. Cute dog picture. GIANT engagement ring. Job promotions. Vacations. Celebrity sightings. THE LIST GOES ON–STOP ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is where I have to stand up and splash cold water on my face. These feelings are NOT right. In fact, they are downright crazy. I am me and only I can be me, and I, too, lead a magical life.

Which brings me to the conclusion of this rousing FB Review:

Mark Zuckerberg, that brilliant magical asshole, is truly smarter than we can EVEN FATHOM. Embedded in this social phenomenon are life lessons we must pay attention to. Mark Zuckerberg coded MORALS into Facebook, and it is time to sit up and pay attention:

  • Take a chance at love.
  • Stay in touch with your friends. Memories are golden and lives are full from the friendships we keep.
  • No drinking pictures ever.
  • Happiness is a choice.
  • The grass is not greener on the other side; it just appears that way, especially as people only “post” their best foot forward.
  • Appreciate and feel blessed you have a timeline to have.
  • Bragging is always annoying.
  • Use other’s adventures as your own inspiration.
  • You can drink a caramel white chocolate fandangled frappe too. Just go get it.
  • AND, leave behind a legacy for your children. You better believe that they will read EVERY post of your timeline, the moments you leave permanently behind. Make them count, and don’t write bad things about them as babies!

We are the Golden Age of Facebook. Live it, Love it, RESPECT.

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